It'll Make You Believe in God

8 weeks this past Sunday. Little Subarufetus has a heartbeat. A mass of cells gently hooked up to a yoke sack-the fetus' nutritional source. But a mass of cells with a heartbeat nonetheless. I saw it myself on the sonogram. It was like a butterfly in the middle of these cells. 158 beats per minute to be exact. Now, I realize that fetuses are formed everyday. I was one. You were one. Frank the Cat was one. So what is so grand about this occasion? Nothing. It happens all the time all around the world. And it is this commonness that makes this one creation mesmerizing and awe inspiring for me. If this were the only little mass of cells with a fluttering heart, I would be much less impressed. Life is awesome. It would be good if we could all be reminded of that time and again.

PS: Subaruwoman has found this website helpful for the newly pregnant: http://www.epregnancy.com/
Still struggling with infertility? Try this one: http://http://www.fertilityplus.com/

"0"

Perhaps I should get a life, but I had a dream last night about the number zero. Seriously. That was it--a voice going on and on about zero. It wasn't a dream about the letter O. I know this because the voice told me so. I saw zeros in different sizes and colors. The voice philosophized about this number that, as the voice said, is not a number after all. It's zilch. The voice rambled on about the infinite circle the zero makes. Then the circles became 3 separate human fertilized eggs like you would see under a microscope. They are little "o"s, ya know. The backdrop was sea blue. This is not as strange as it seems. Subaruman and his wife, Subaruwoman, are having trouble producing another human though we have tried for 3 plus years. Damn frustrating I tell ya. This portion of the dream freaked me out a bit. Apparently the voice was aware of my freakedoutedness. It comforted me with a view of another zero. Half of the zero was highlighted in red and the voice said, "Look, half a zero is the shape of Willy's beer belly." I laughed in my sleep and then woke up to the noise of a weird bleating sound outside our bedroom window. I wondered if a dog or possum got too close to our gigantic cactus in our back yard. Nevertheless, I remained awake for a while pondering what strange animal is in my back yard and why the hell I'm dreaming of zeros. If you think you may know something of this dream and it's meaning, let me know. Adios, amigo.